Finding integrity in relationship
An introduction and invitation to this Sunday’s Resonant Man event
To address the lack of integrity in the world, we must first find integrity in relationship.
As we tuned in to the vision of the Resonant Man’s summer program it was self-evident that ‘finding integrity in relationship’ would be a core pillar of the exploration alongside our previous themes of: Inviting Vision, Speaking from our deepest listening & The gifts and wounds of Ancestry.
It feels like a daring and necessary move in the right direction. Matthew has some insight from past experience into the potency of bringing together attuned groups of men and women in the Thomas Hübl space and we both felt that this was an evolutionary direction from men’s work. Our sense of the cultural moment is that there is a profound level of distrust, confusion and polarisation around the relationship between men and women.
As we’ve continually experienced, there is a great deal we can begin to understand, unveil and unlock when we participate in the cultivation of ‘resonant fields’ of communication rooted in authentic dialogue. We believe that when we bring men and women together in that space, then something quite significant can occur.
What Is Integrity in Relationship?
We are seeking to approaching this question with the humility of not knowing the answer. In communicative breakdowns, believing we already know the answer (and the mind of the other), is often a block to real breakthrough into dynamic connection. Without the qualities of a deep listening, active and authentic participation, and a sense of not-knowing the inevitable complexity of human relationship can break down. Sometimes, the breakthrough demands something we’ve never felt in ourselves, never expressed, a new place to stand or see from.
Real communication, for us, is founded on communion – a degree of shared presence which communicates vibrational information and realities much greater than just words. Indeed, to really commune in communication is to encounter; to really be with someone who is different to and beyond our selves.
The inspiration and seed of this experiment is the recognition that something quite potent may be possible when we bring together the already developing Resonant Man field and many wise women from our network and the broader field. As each show up authentically, tune in together, and drop expectations about the other, something real can happen. We can without instrumentally seeking it, find that we hold medicine and insight for one another.
The inverse of finding integrity in relationship is of course being out of integrity in all its forms: whether conflict, miscommunication or a loss of mutual trust, and so.
We believe many, many men are inadequately supported or relationally resourced in matters of relationship. Our forefathers, whether by circumstance and culture, were conditioned to ‘Island’ themselves psychologically and emotionally from the world and other people. Many of us suffer the consequences of this – unequipped to support one another, communicate our experience, and many times believing that our stoic islandedness is a strength.
To go a little deeper, we can’t communicate what’s going on because we don’t have the words. More precisely, we don’t have the quality of space needed to bring our experience into felt words. The men around us were unable to be present to this. Because we can’t communicate our experience, we can’t actually see it and herein lies the root of a great deal of our problems.
Women reading may have rightly observed that they too suffer inadequate relational support and integrity. We thoroughly agree: much of what makes men’s spaces like the Resonant Man valuable is true for women, and why we strongly support wisdom-oriented women’s spaces. We believe the Resonant Man ultimately needs to meet the Resonant Woman, and foster her coming forth in whatever way he can.
At the same time, we are under no illusions that men and women share the same experience; there is a great deal of distinction. Part of our coming together is to understand also where our realities are both shared and distinct.
Lastly, we want to recognise ahead of the session that any exploration of ‘integrity in relationship’ is far more expansive than simply our relationship between men and women (or with ourselves and others).
Integrity in relationship is about our fundamental relationship to the whole; to divinity, God and the deeper wells of wisdom on the earth. We’re curious to see how we may hold the practical, spiritual and relational dimensions of this pressing theme.
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This Sunday we are extending an invitation to resonant men and women to listen deeply and enquire together. During the session we will experience a meditative attunement, development of the themes alongside invited women, and explore the question collectively through triads which will flow into a larger group dialogue.
Finding Integrity in relationship.
This Sunday Aug 4th at 11:00am PST/ 7:00pm London
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZckd-2qrTIvHdVmsEhvIZLyilbpTRHh-G4S
We request attendees join with camera’s on in a space supportive of full participation.
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You’re receiving this email because you registered to join the fourth session of the Resonant Man Initiative.