What Does it Mean to Be a 'Soul Friend'?
And a call to find the courage to connect.
If you want to join Jacob, Matthew and the Resonant Man community in person, join our Resonant Man Summer Weekend at Pitchcott Farm on June 20-22.
In Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom, the Irish poet John O’Donahue explores the Celtic concept of anam cara, or “soul friend.”
This profound bond originates in a domain outside of space and time — and is thus immune to the corrosive effects of physical distance or passing years.
There was a sense of recognition in the group when
and I brought this idea into a dialogue on the nature of friendship — and specifically how we can cultivate stronger friendships between men — in our latest session of the Resonant Man. We’re opening the enquiry into friendship as part of arc of The Month of Love in which we’ll be exploring Philia, Eros and Agape — three forms of love.
Although I can think of several friends I would consider anam cara, as could many others in the circle, it was poignant to consider the challenges that can arise in maintaining the rest of our friendships — especially those rooted in our teens or early careers.
While our connections with our anam cara are — by definition — immune to the forces of social entropy, it’s all too easy for friendships to plateau at a level of intimacy that might have satisfied younger versions of ourselves, but which can start to feel stale as we grow a little older, and hopefully a little wiser.
Men aren’t always that good at recognising such decay when it inevitably starts to set in, and we might not see obvious pathways to revitalisation and renewal. Participating in a men’s group like the Resonant Man can of course help with such processes, as the regular practice of tuning into the truth of our own experiences, and then communicating those truths transparently to others, will naturally translate into richer relationships outside the circle.
We can also support each other to experience the type of friendship that has a generative quality — reflecting “a sense of home but also a moreness, something undisclosed, a greater potential still to be towards,” in Jacob’s words. In my experience, friendships anchored in a sense of shared purpose or adventure look after themselves.
Our session closed with a powerful call from one of the men exhorting each of us to find the courage to cut through the resistance or self-consciousness that can arise as we consider reaching out to renew a connection with another man. While there’s never a guarantee that our overture will be received in the way we hope, he reminded us that we cannot go wrong if we honour a true impulse from our heart.
After the global perspective we adopted during our Month of the Metacrisis, this was a session that landed closer to home. I left feeling more motivated to be more present to the friends I’m fortunate to already have in my life — and to honour the new bonds I’m forging through the Resonant Man.
— Matthew Green
The Resonant Man holds a weekly circle for men devoted to sacred evolution. You can explore joining us through a a discovery call. We also hold live events that are open to men and women, in collaboration with facilitators, wisdom keepers and women’s circles. Details of these circles will be shared in this newsletter.
Co-founder Jacob Kishere offers live events and comprehensive podcast production services through SENSESPACE Studio and is gifting 1-1 Soul Journey sessions this month.
If you want to join Jacob, Matthew and the Resonant Man community in person, join our Resonant Man Summer Weekend at Pitchcott Farm on June 20-22.
Finally, we welcome you to join and support our network by subscribing, recommending and referring in service of others.